Big Baby

Time to face the music.
Fear has nothing to do with it.
Just another excuse to stay in the safe zone,
Rather than conquering the fear of being alone.
One more flaw about me to add to the list.
You're still reading? I'm surprised you haven't quit.
I'm astonished people actually put up with the way that I am.
It's as if at any second they'll can me like Spam.
And if they did, I think I'd understand.

Damn.

Peace, Love, & Unoriginality

I am me.
I am not you.
You are you.
So you do you.
And I'll do me.
I am me,
So let me be.
Let it be.

You are a robot. With universal parts and programing. I am nothing like you. Truly original and unique. You can either deal with me as I am or leave me be. To be quite frank, the last thing I want to do is fit in. I would prefer to stand out and be alone, rather than blend in and be surrounded by people who only accept me for the image they want to see. Take it or leave it...

Forever. Like a Tattoo.

1264.5 miles.
I can get to you in many different styles.
I got cars, planes, and trains.
If I had to I'd even walk the terrain.
Rain or shine I'd be on my way.
Standing outside your window asking if you can come out and play.
Now I'm no creeper, so don't fear the reaper.
I'm just your biggest fan cheering you on from the bleachers.
And I may not be a master in geography
But being so far from you is causing me atrophy
And not to say my body is whithering,
Rather me missing and reminiscing
On the good times we shared,
And how ironic it was that you and I got paired.
I smiled tens times more than usual,
And I did and said things that were unusual.
But you played it cool and I thought that was cool
You said I ruled like a bully in school.
I accepted that line in silence,
But we all knew that when it came to ruling you were the true tyrant.
I can't help saying "OOOOOO" to that last line,
Because I knew you might too if you had read that rhyme.
And I thank God for telephone towers,
Because I know you'll call me before your shower,
And I'll remind you to wash behind your ears,
Picturing you smiling from ear to ear.
Waiting like a statue for the next call,
So I can ask more questions about you instead of an eight-ball.
I had to say "OOOOOO" one more time.
I promise that's the last time...
for now...
I miss you kid and that I can certainly avow.
I wish I could reach you, kiss you, hug you, maybe play with a locke of your hair.
This distance is cruel, unusual, and just not fair.
But I got cars, planes, and trains
Good shoes to walk the terrain.
And the will power to get me to you
Because I want you forever like a tattoo.

I'm sorry I keep writing about how I feel for you,
I'm not trying to scare you off, just trying to get a feel for you.
Not trying to smother you with feelings,
Just expressing what I'm feeling.
I promise this is the last time...
For now...

Spoken. Word.

I was an outcast that was pushed out to sea,
I never really fit in so everyone rejected me,
All because I walked, talked, and dressed differently,
they were all a bunch of haters just to put it simply.

So I rowed, rowed, rowed my boat down the gentle stream
And I did so with a smile on my face ever so merrily.
Life was but a dream,
A nightmare scene.

You see, in a world of robots I was a flobot,
Trying to loosen their screws and nuts
So they could loosen up and go nuts
But I was fresh out of luck.

It was just me, myself, and my rhymes,
And whatever came out of my mind
To fill the next line.
Working at all I had until it was prime
Because I wanted my work to shine.

It wasn't until a go-bot
Heard that what I wrote was hot.
He said "show me what you got".
Everything seemed to work out like a fictional plot.

He liked my rhymes
But there was no contract with a dotted line
And a place to sign,
Just some goodbye words of "maybe next time".

Stupid me couldn't flow to a beat.
They wanted hip-hop material not someone that could only speak.
So I dragged my feet
Down the busy street
Accepting my defeat.
On to the next thing.

I had a collection of poems I wanted in a book.
I asked my English teacher to take a look.
She clicked her teeth and her head shook,
"This can never be published" and that's the last straw I took.

"Why not? What's the deal? I write good stuff.
Do you not want to support my work and dirty your cuffs?
She said "This poetry will never sell, listen to me and trust.
This will never get published and that's no bluff".

I stormed out of her classroom
Into a state of gloom
Towards a place of doom
But I was giving up too soon.
Time for something new.

It was just the mic and the stage,
An affair I was willing to engage.
This spoken word craze
Sounded like fair trade.

I stepped up with shaking hands,
Put my papers on the music stand,
Realized how this was all so unplanned,
And went into my own little la-la land.

The microphone was cold as ice.
The audience was quiet as mice.
I cleared my throat twice
And my voice began to entice.

Before I knew it, it was over and all I heard was snaps.
They eventually transformed into claps.
I got pats on my back,
Suggestions to make a track,
And get paid fat,
This and that.

It was so new,
Being accepted by this crew,
And only after my first debut.
All of this was long over-due.
I loved it, it was contagious like the flu.
I wanted more, this was just the preview.
I wasn't moving on just yet, this was too good to be true.

So I rowed, rowed, rowed my boat down the gentle stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, living out my dream...

I remember today,

It was story time in 4th grade.
Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry.
My teacher read it to us with red eyes.
No one told us, we were "too young to know".
But the news reels continued to flow...

8-9-2009/Bring It

You say you watin like a, talkin like a, actin like a fool but I'm the one trippin out like it's my first day of school. I waited and waited to meet someone so real and someone that could flow about all that they feel. And I finally got to meet this mystery man because what he didn't know was I was his biggest fan. You see, I would snap for him until my fingers were raw because I thought he could spit without a single flaw and he spilled his heart out without the need for applaud because his words meant more and were for a bigger cause. And I respect all he has to say in hopes of kickin it someday. I hoped I could show my affection in some secret way. But the obvious is known it's even a case too easy for Sherlock Holmes. So let's get out of here and run. We can be "iron like a lion in Zion". And your feet ain't the only thing skippin because I swear my heart is flippin, but that might be from the jog or I could be plain wrong. So let's just see where these street lights lead because all I want to do is breathe...

Last night I spent about three hours staring at the ceiling. Just thinking. And I really hate when my mind gets ahead of me and almost controls me. As Much as I would like to fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, I can't. And after last night...and everything that was said...it wasn't a surprise that all these thoughts were running through my mind. I was tempted to get up and take some medicine to help me sleep, but where things were left off, it all needed to be resolved right then and there. So I just stared at the ceiling all night, until sleep finally enveloped me. And then I dreampt about everything I was thinking about until I was awoken. And then I thought about my dreams while I was getting ready for the new day. And at this very moment I am thinking about it all. Just thinking. Just hoping. Day dreaming.

And I can honestly say I'm scared.
But I can also say I'm ready for whatever comes next.

Bring it sucka.

Dark Corners

Chains.
Bound hands and feet.
No sound except my heart beat.
Scared of whats around the corner so I creep.
Locked in a cage, call me Dead Meat.
Chains.
Such a heavy burden.
For these cuffs I was chosen.
Elected by my inner demon.
Whispering lies in my ears like a heathen.
Chains.
Clanging together like church bells.
They welcome me into my personal Hell.
The place I so often dwell.
Can't escape, this place has me under a spell.
Chains.
Untie me, unhand me, set me free.
I want to live instead of this banality.
My attempt to escape may be the death of me.
But the fight for freedom is never easy.
Chains.
Will no longer restrain.
Me.
FREE.