"Don't Hold Your Breath"

Oh trust me I won't. I'll just stop breathing. I'll wait forever. Fathom that. As I turn blue my thought turn to you. Death is overwhelming me but it was going to arrive now or later. So I'll see you later as I wait forever.

You can't always get what you want. But you can sure as Hell try.

It's impossible to loose you
Because I never had you,
Although I would be glad to.
I want you
FOREVER LIKE A TATTOO.
So can I have you?

Please?

Picture Pefect

Picture it perfect. Can't get a grip on the image. I find old pictures of us. I choose to rip them up. Not because the memories were bad, I just want to free my picture frames from all the fake smiles. The frames stay empty for now, but I picture great things to be harbored behind the glass. Possible places I will visit, new friends I will make, new loves I will have. Whatever frozen piece of time I choose, just know that I am moving forward. Nothing personal my friend.

Feng Shui

"Breaking up with a guy is like rearranging furniture. It looks like shit at first, but over time it begins to look great. And it is then that you realize it was all worth it."

As we move the bed from this side of the room to the other
We discover old pictures of past lovers.
TRASH THAT SUCKA SUCKAAAA!
We take down notes and photos off the wall to make more space.
Pictures of all things moose are put up to take it's place.
The lava lamp that never got to shine will now have life
and the dark side of the room will now have light.
We clean up the dust and shine up the mirrors
Now we can feel clean and see ourselves clearer.
The room feels brand new. It has a new energy.
Change is good but it's just not for me.
I like my room just the way it is...
FUHQED UP.

I'm begining to feel like my room is a metaphor to my life.
Well ain't that crap...

Eart to Earth, Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

As I rise from the ashes of all things long forgotten
I leave behind my past which was long gone rotten.
I turned over a new leaf which turned into Spring
I dreamed like a child but things ain't always what they seem.
The wind blows and the ashes are stirred into the air.
Can't seem to escape this prison, this never ending nightmare.
Dust to dust another one bites it.
Lost the battle when I tried to fight it.
So smother me slowly if you truly please,
Just realise that these ashes will soon have me released.

I am a phoenix.
From the ashes I rise.

Doctor Doctor.

The silence echoes in the hallways.
It's so cold outside not even the kids will come out and play.
Can't even make my words play today.
Can't even express what I want to say.
So doctor, doctor give me them drugs.
The uppers, the downers, or all the above.
I'm just dying to feel that buzz,
Because I'm all alone beating out my living room rug.
Pop one, pop two, aww hell down the whole bottle.
Get to death faster like I'm going full throttle.
I'm so far gone it's too late to remodel,
Because fighting off gravity is beyond impossible.
So down into the dark I wander.
Am I dead yet? I stop to ponder.
Probably not because I have yet to see a light out yonder.
So I take another breath to squander.
Mmm yeah. I've never felt so good.
In my own world. My own neck of the woods.
A place where I will never be misunderstood.
A world where there is sunshine, not darkness that broods.
So let me dwell in the abyss of my mind.
I'm just trying to find a place for my insecurities to hide,
And to discover that place where no one will ever find
All the secrets I have confined.

Why yes doctor, I am a mental case. I guess you'll be seeing more of me now won't ya?

If I Had A Man (LOL)

Hey baby, tonight is our night. My treat.
I'm going to take you out to eat.
You know my wallet is tight.
So keep it on the dollar menu, yeah the section on the right.
No drink for you just a watter cup.
Free refills so go ahead and fill her up.
I got more planned for us tonight, don't doubt.
Dinner and a movie is what I'm about.
But you know my wallet is tight.
Red Box. Dollar movie rental just for one night.
So go ahead and pick out the perfect flick.
Good choice. I really like the movie Hitch.
Did and done. Let's go to my place.
Hop on the public bus and let's leave without a trace.
I'll set the mood and set it right.
I know it's dark baby I couldn't pay for my lights.
But don't worry. I always have a plan.
There's a portable DVD player in my mom's mini-van.
A drive through movie with no need to wait
And no need for popcorn because we just ate.
THE PERFECT DATE.

Do You Feel What I Feel?

I'd hate to be the one that's like "Oh baby baby"
Pushing you further away and making you hate me.
But it seems you've been out there lately.
Head over heels I'm falling, someone save me.

Too late.

I'll pick my battles and this one is mine.
I wont deny myself something good this time.
Because when I see something good I know it's prime.
I deserve a good thing. Something sublime.

So watch and observe as she fights for what she wants
and if she goes home a loser well that's what the Lord wants.
But that happy ending is something that always taunts.
And the huge possibility of failure is something that surely flaunts.

But putting fears aside,
I'm ready to take that dive,
and let whatever comes up against me collide,
because my feelings for you will not easily subside.

I told you I was "Bananas" for you once and I'll say it forever more,
You are the one that I want and truly adore,
And there's something about you that strikes my core,
Can we talk it out now so I can learn more?

A second of your time. A penny for your thoughts.
Am I even something that you would ever want?

Oh The Memories...

I'm frustrated. It's like I'm talking with a wall and trying to enjoy it.
Things ain't the same and there's no way for me to ignore it.
I'm so ready to go back to the basics before it.
But you seem to retort it.

Damn. I can't stand to loose something so good so fast.
I'm desperately trying to make this good thing last.
So work with me here as I sift through the past.
So we can catch up and keep this thing intact.

Work with me. Please. I'm begging you.
I love you. You know it. It's true.
People like you are just so few.
So lets backtrack and hit RE-DO.

Re-Boot.

Hey there. Remember me? Yeah that's me!
We still tight? Hell yeah, tight as can be.
Can we talk? Yep. On the phone till 3.
And fall asleep and dance in eachother's dreams.

Just the way things used to be.
You and me.
Free.

Bleed. Read. Enjoy.

You'll never guess what I found on my sleeve,
My heart, leaving me with an empty chest cavity.
Some would say I was heartless, but I'd have to disagree,
I'm just sharing what I'm feeling. Me being me.

It's like a pen couldn't even bleed what I feel.
I'd write in my own blood but I don't know if I could heal.
I just want you to see what I could never fully reveal.
The idea is ideal but the process is unreal. Simply surreal.

No brush could paint the picture, but an artist sure can.
Be prepared for what you're about to see because I have the brush in my hand.
Adding color to my picture which turns out to be a wasteland.
A place of loneliness, across the universe it seemed to span.

As I fill my empty cup with sorrow,
I pour it out with better hopes for tomorrow.
For now, I'll have to find a smile to borrow.
"It's easy to fake it" that seems to be my new motto.

I'm a liar, I'm a fake, whatever title you want to give.
I just didn't want your pity, that was my only motive.
I didn't want to answer questions so I remained passive.
But the truth is I'm not okay, I just want to live.

It's amazing how far I fell from where I needed to be.
I thank God that He picked me up and taught me how to laugh and be free.
With my heart on my sleeve and joy in my life that everyone could see.
I continue to be me. Yeah. Me being me.

Excuse Me While I Piss The Sky

This isn't Purple Haze
so put your lighters away.

Kiss the sky
some other time.

The world is a dog eat dog place
giving no one a piece of grace.

Everyone is too concerned about saving face.
Well shave your face

you look like garbage.

Your breath smells like it too
but that's because all you do

is talk trash.
Talk is cheap so don't expect cash.

But who am I to talk?
I'd rather walk.

Because I know I can
and you can't.

I've got no strings attached
so go do your dance little puppet man.

Fake.
All of you.

Poetic Tragedy (Greek Tragedy Response-ish)

She was a tragedy,
Nothing beautiful about it.
She used to write off the world but now she just typed it.
Said what needed to be said whether they hated it or liked it.

Little notes of quips and quirks,
Black and blue could be seen on her inked palms,
She dropped rhymes like they dropped bombs,
Words smoothed out her lips like Carmex lip balm.

The tragedy of Greece was another world away
Everything about her had changed except her scheme
A-B-B-B / C-D-D-D
She was high...on everything but self-esteem

Sticks and stones ripped her,
Her worst critics used to be her best friends
She was all alone, hiding in the crowd, trying to blend.
She was just another tragedy, searching for her inspiration, her real friend...

Heart Song

As I cry goodbye, I know it's not for the last time, and yet I worry this is the end of our story. No beat, no rhyme can describe what I feel inside. Somewhere between Heaven and Hell, a place where my soul seems to dwell. Ups and downs spin my head round and round, don't know where I'm going I can't even find my ground. The meaning of this song to you and then to I won't be the same but I know you can still feel the pain. My love is all I want to give but nightmares live where you live. And I feel so helpless when I see you fall because I know I'm going to try and catch you but I'm tied down, hands and all. And not to say I won't help you, rather I can't. All I can do is pray like a religious chant. Hoping that you find a warm place to spend the night and that healing will come after that one fight. Sending down my guardian angel to protect you and asking God to do nothing but bless you. You asked me not to worry because the world is your playground. And like you said, like a stray cat, you'll always come back around.

To Be Continued...

You wouldn't believe what was on my sleeve.
My heart, leaving me with an empty chest cavity.

And then I got stuck. Shame. This line has lots of potential...
I hope to finish it with a bang, if I can manage that much.

Father-Daughter Dance

He pressed His thumb to the inside of my palm,
He didn't seem to be anxious, rather completely calm.
"I haven't danced in a while, I might trip and fall."
He said "Don't worry, let me lead, and I'll handle it all."
Nervous at first, I fell in step,
Looked into my Father's eyes and lost my breath.
Pupils of love and Irises of kindness.
He was someone to fear, but in His presence I was fearless.
A smile parted his lips and Joy shined through,
Where darkness consumed, He now lit up the room.
As lives were wilting He encouraged them to bloom.
And I, this freshly plucked flower
Began to realize my own power,
Through the Tower of Strength that danced with me now,
Through His unending love that He avowed.
A perfect night under the gleaming stars,
An unforgettable moment that sent me soaring past Mars,
A dance with my Father to a never ending song,
A relationship with my God that is so powerfully strong.