From Stick to Thick (LOL)

I tried on a new pair of jeans at the store,
Put them on and couldn't move anymore.
I tried on a bigger size,
But they still did not want to comply.
One more size up
and they wouldn't even stay up.

I grabbed a different brand
And realized I needed something that could expand.
I tried on a bigger size
and couldn't even get them past my thighs.
I took them off and stood in front of the mirror,
If only these designers could see my body type clearer.

The J-Lo booty can't be undone,
Thunder thighs are better than none,
Childbearing hips are way more fun,
Size 11 is the new size 1.