Who am I?

I am a God fearing woman. I respect others but I respect myself the most. Why? Because other's respect is not guaranteed. I set my priorities and I don't compromise. I am a natural leader. Call me bossy if you want. I don't curse but I cuss alot in my head. I am mean, but it's my sense of humor. No one gets that it's my sense of humor, so they really think I'm being mean. I love to love. But I hate to receive love. So don't bother. I'm more of a listener then a talker. Mainly because I never know what to say. I write poetry because it can be as controversial as I please. I tend to be a controversial person. Controversial person; controversial poetry; makes sense. I'm a bad liar but I try. I am not a morning person or a night person. I enjoy a cool breeze. I like to laugh. I tend to be the one that makes myself laugh. I do not depend on others for my happiness, my security, my well-being, etc. I don't rely on others because dependability is rare. I myself am not dependable, but when I let myself down, it is easier to be hard on myself than to be hard on someone else. I strive to be the best. I want to make my parents proud. That's why I keep secrets a secret. You will never know the real me. I don't even know the real me. I like being a mystery. I am stubborn. I do what I want. I get what I want. Any blessing or struggle is all from God. I am thankful for it all. I am thankful for everything; my friends, my family, the food I eat, the clean water I drink, the opportunity for education, the opportunity to see the world, etc. I try to be a good person. But I try too hard. I fail. I like being alone. I don't like being alone. I prefer to stay home on the weekends. I have two cats because I want something to take care of and something to love. I am socially awkward. I have a staring problem. And I'm dyslexic. I am a simple person. I am a complex person. I have a lot of problems that I am working through. I don't trust many. I don't want to be told I need help. I am the one who decides that. I get help when I want it. I do what I want. Right now, I am trying to make me happy and put myself first. Sounds selfish. It is. But I'm tired of putting it on myself to make others happy. it's my turn. Don't like me? Don't care.